I’ve always had a mixed relationship with fitness. I played sports in Jr. High and High school and while I was a miserable basketball player (not aggressive enough) I was a decent volleyball player (I could jump and hit). But I didn’t love sports with a psssion. It was simply a thing you did to occupy time and belong to the crowd when you grew up in a small town.
After high school, I attended gyms off and on as well as attempting various other types of “exercise” like ballroom dancing, yoga, even fencing. My problem is that working out has often been tied, in my mind, to weight loss. That subject is a minefield for me. One I’m trying to pick my way through now.
My mother once accused me of being overweight to spite her so you can see why I’ve always either ignored, or tread lightly around, the subject.
Through Sinful Sunday and meeting various lovely people, I’m coming to terms with the beauty of my body as it is.
However, a recent annual physical revealed slightly elevated blood pressure. After a scary (and, I admit, pms-fueled) melodramatic night when I worried I’d have a stroke and no one would find me for days because I live alone, (I said it was melodramatic) I realized that while I’m no longer quite so desperate to change the shape of my body, I do want it to work as well as it can.
I don’t want to miss out on future fun or time with the people I love because I haven’t taken care of myself. So. This week’s Sinful Sunday. A renewed commitment to moving my body (and not just during sex – though that’s good for your heart too).
I’m not making this about my weight or my shape, but about getting in shape. About being able to move myself through life confidently, without having to catch my breath. About making myself stronger in all kinds of ways.